My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
From Goodreads
2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.
2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed?
★★★★☆
(note: I use “relationship” in this review in the platonic way, not the romantic way. So when I say “relationship with her teacher”, I mean the way they are connected the same way I’d say “her relationship with her mother”, rather than to mean the way they’re romantically involved. Just for clarity)
I really enjoyed a lot of this book. I really enjoyed Vanessa as a main character. She had a lot of depth and was really interesting.
I thought it was really well-written. The way Russell showed the impacts of Vanessa’s trauma was really well done, and she did a really great job capturing some of the complexities of the #MeToo movement and how victims might feel conflicted. There was a lot of nuance that was well explored. The complexities of Vanessa’s relationship with her teacher was really interesting and well-explored, as well as how it affected Vanessa’s other relationships, particularly with older men and other women.
The strongest part of this book, in my opinion, is the exploration of viewing oneself as a victim. It’s something Vanessa struggles with a ton, and it think it was really accurate. I know a few people who don’t like to call themselves victims or have a complicated relationship with that word, and I think they’d see themselves in this book.
I also really appreciated how therapy is portrayed in this book. Vanessa goes to a therapist and really benefits from it. She enjoys and has a great relationship with her therapist. It also seemed like a really realistic depiction of therapy. I really appreciated this as therapy is still something that is vilified in a lot of books.
There were a couple things that stopped me from giving it a full five stars. I thought it was too long and too short at the same time. Essentially, there are two concurrent timelines: current day Vanessa and past Vanessa. There were some past sections that were so long and didn’t add much in the end. Meanwhile, there were some current sections that were too short and also didn’t add anything because of their shortness. I wish it was a little more evenly distributed.
I also thought Russell didn’t fully get there in the end, if that makes sense at all. As a decently educated, well-read person, I understood that Vanessa had a “oh shit, he was a bad guy” moment. But, it could be less obvious to someone who was in a situation similar to Vanessa’s. I could very much see someone who is experiencing something similar (i.e. being abused by a teacher but developing feelings for said teacher) reading this book and never seeing the teacher in the negative light. They may never have that “oh shit” moment, which could be harmful to them. Maybe this is me reading into things too much, but I would’ve liked the realization to be a little more explicit. Not too explicit, but a little more.
But overall, I enjoyed this book. I was happy I read it and would definitely recommend it if you were looking to pick it up.
So those are my thoughts on My Dark Vanessa! Have you read this book? What were your thoughts? Do you plan on reading it? Let me know!
Ally xx
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Great review! I definitely see your point about wanting the realization to be a bit more impactful for people who may need it. I did personally feel that it fit in with the characterization and context, as this seems like the kind of thing that would come and go in waves before one is fully able to accept it and I interpreted it as the *start* of her realization rather than the the entirety of it. But it does make sense that this may be not clear enough to those who also have their eyes closed to the truth.
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Thank you! I totally agree with that, too. I think it would have been weird in the context of the story for Vanessa to have a big, obvious realization. But I still wanted something a little clearer just in case.
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Great review! I’ve seen so many rave reviews for this that it’s good to read one that’s a little more balanced before I give it a shot myself 👀
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Thank you! I think it definitely deserves all the rave reviews too tbh. I hope you enjoy it (or have enjoyed it if you’ve read it by now since I’m replying like three weeks later lmao)
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Fantastic review!
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Thank you, Nicki! 💕
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Whenever I see this book I think about reading it and then I forget it about lol, so I’ll add it to my TBR, I’ve seen many positive opinions 🥰✨👏🏻❤️
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LOL I get that! I hope you enjoy it when you get to it! 💕💕
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I plan on reading this at some point, but I’m waiting until I’m in the right head space. Great review.
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It definitely requires the right mindset before going in. But I hope you enjoy it when you get to it! Thank you 💕
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I just finished this today & thought it was fantastic, especially in its nuances and exploration of the ‘victim’ label. I also agree with you that it did feel a little too long –especially the second half after the climactic events had passed – but it still captivated me throughout. Great review!
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Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it too! All the nuances were so great. But I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who found it long!
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I enjoyed this one too but felt that the relationship with the second teacher was a bit overplayed and not entirely necessary.
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Yes! It was weird because I liked that relationship, but also didn’t really understand why it was necessary. It just seemed kind of stuck in. But I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Lovely review, I think you captured this book perfectly!
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Thank you, Donna!
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Great post! I was wondering, do you have any tips for writing? I feel like I’m in bit of a rut attention moment.
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Thank you!
And I totally get that! What I find helps me with writing reviews specifically is to write bullet points for the books I’ve read. Then at least you have something down and you can revisit it later when you’re in a mood to write! I also have a whole post on writing reviews 🙂 it should be in the “popular posts” section on the sidebar of my blog!
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Ohh, that’s a great review!
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Thank you!
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Thanks for sharing this lovely review Ally! Seems like I have to pick this one up now. Great job 🙂
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Thank you, Purvasha! I hope you enjoy it if/when you get to it!
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