Discussion: the types of book reviewers

AKA calling out all of us, myself included

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So if you read enough book reviews (which you probably do), you might notice that there are different types of book reviewers. I thought it would be funny to talk about these types of reviewers, in a fun, lighthearted way.

Too nice

• Doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings
• Barring blatant, morally wrong messages, will rate even their most-loathed book at least 2 stars
• “I didn’t enjoy the plot, had a hard time getting into it, the writing was just okay, and didn’t like the characters. Three stars.”
• “I had no complaints even though this was fairly mediocre. Five stars.”

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Critical and doesn’t care

• Has high expectations, knows it, and isn’t afraid to say when a book doesn’t meet their expectations
• Will drag your faves and will not apologize for it
• Is almost always critical but almost always in a constructive way
• If they love a book, it’s probably good
• “This book was a solid fine. It didn’t blow me away, but there wasn’t anything majorly wrong with it either. Three stars.”
• “I thought the plot was brilliant, but didn’t like the characters and the writing was annoying. One star.”

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Easy to please (aka calling out myself)

• Is easily distracted by good writing
• Only notices major issues when they’re pointed out by other reviews
• Every book is rated 4.5 stars though because it didn’t “feel” like a five-star book
• “I thought the plot was boring and the characters were just okay, but I loved the writing. Four and a half stars.”

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The friendly reviewer

• Starts every review with “Friends, I loved this book” or “Friends, please don’t hate me, but…”
• Will drag your favourite book if they didn’t like it, but will do it nicely
• Honestly, even when they hate a book, it will be worded in the nicest way possible
• Will still probably rate that book 2 stars
• If they love a book, it’s just 600 words of them gushing non-stop about everything

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Doesn’t really have much to say

• Reviews are 300 words, max.
• Probably organizes the post into categories and spends three sentences talking about each category
• Even when they hated or loved a book, the review is generally short

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The thorough reviewer

• Reviews are 700 words, minimum
• Organizes the review into categories, but talks about every category extensively
• Reviews read like a book report

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Only provides a summary

• Provides the Goodreads summary for a book, AND spends 90% of the review summarizing the plot
• Has two lines, maybe, about their thoughts
• Also likely to be a concise or too nice reviewer
• Also highly likely to be a middle-aged mom (I don’t make the rules)

So those are the types of reviewers I came up with! TAG YOURSELF, I’M EASY TO PLEASE

Are there any other type of reviewers you’ve noticed? Let me know!

Thanks for reading! xx